We’ve all been there.
You finally got your baby to sleep after a restless night, but you’re wide awake, spiraling at 3 a.m. as you scroll through articles, reels, and parenting forums trying to figure out:
What am I doing wrong?
Cue the spiral.
- Is this the 4-month sleep regression?
- Should I try a different nap schedule?
- Is it separation anxiety? Teething? A leap? A full moon?
- Maybe I just need to give up and co-sleep. Or sleep train. Or both?
And suddenly you’re mentally redoing your entire sleep setup, second-guessing every decision you’ve made, and adding 17 new screenshots to your camera roll. Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: At 3 a.m. your brain is not the most trustworthy source of parenting advice.
When you’re in the thick of sleep struggles, it can feel like there’s so much you need to fix all at once. And when you’re sleep-deprived, the overwhelm gets 10 times worse.
What you’re probably feeling is a lack of clarity. The flood of information available can make things seem worse than they really are, and it’s easy to get lost in it all. The truth is, a lot of what you’re reading is common advice, but that doesn’t always mean it’s what’s right for you and your baby.
So let’s get some clarity — right here, right now.
If your baby is up in the middle of the night and it’s starting to feel like a nightly event, here’s what I want you to know:
1. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s normal.
Lots of babies wake up overnight. That part is a biologically normal part of our sleep cycle. But needing you to fully resettle them each time? Not always necessary. Taking 90 minutes to get back to sleep? Not ideal. Waking up five times after midnight? Also not something you just have to live with.
We normalize a lot of broken sleep in the name of survival, but if your sleep situation feels unsustainable, it probably is. And it can get better.
2. If you’re doing something different every night, that’s probably part of the problem.
I’m not saying everything needs to be rigid or scripted, but if some nights you rock, some nights you nurse, some nights you co-sleep, and some nights you try to wait it out, it’s no wonder your baby is confused (and you’re exhausted).
Consistency is one of the most underrated tools in sleep. It’s not sexy, it’s not complicated, but it’s powerful.
3. Sleep change doesn’t have to be overwhelming
Most families I work with are shocked at how seamlessly new routines fall into place. That’s what happens with a clear plan that takes into account their baby’s temperament, feeding needs, nap structure, bedtime timing, and how they’re responding to wake-ups.
(And FYI: It usually isn’t about the pacifier or the type of sleep sack or the socks you forgot to put on, so try not to overthink those things!)
4. The best time to problem-solve isn’t 3 a.m. — it’s now (unless it’s 3 a.m. right now, then go to bed and come back to this in the morning).
Middle-of-the-night spirals feel dramatic because everything feels bigger when you’re exhausted. Instead of troubleshooting during the darkest hour (literally and figuratively), make a plan during the day when your brain is functioning again.
You’re not broken. Your baby isn’t broken. But if your current sleep setup isn’t working, it’s okay to want something better. And you don’t have to piece it together alone.
If you’re stuck in the 3 a.m. spiral more nights than not, I can help you get out of it for good. Together we can take the guesswork out of baby sleep and build something that actually works.
You’ve got this (and I’ve got you)!
